Ask for What You Need

Name the Need. Make a Clear Request. Leave Room for an Answer.

You hope someone will notice you’re overwhelmed. You hint that you could use help, say “It’s fine,” or wait until frustration makes the words come out harder than you intended.

Knowing you need something and knowing how to ask for it are different skills.

Created by Josua Rine, LPC, CAADC, this 18-page Pause & Respond guide and workbook helps you identify what would support you, make a specific request, and respond thoughtfully to the answer.

Inside, you’ll find tools to help you:

• Separate your underlying need from one preferred solution.

• Turn hints and complaints into clear, practical requests.

• Choose a workable time and name any real deadline.

• Use fill-in templates for practical help, connection, and coordination.

• Confirm a yes, handle disappointment after a no, and consider a compromise.

• Follow up on vague or unanswered requests with a realistic next step.

Before-and-after scripts and a worked conversation show how the same request can lead to different answers. A request planner, reflection worksheets, weekly practice plan, and printable reminder cards help you apply the skills in everyday life.

The workbook also distinguishes new requests from boundaries and existing commitments, while recognizing that repeated dismissal of important needs may require more than better wording.

Your need matters. A clear request gives someone a chance to understand and respond.

What you receive: An 18-page downloadable PDF for screen reading or printing on US Letter paper. Worksheets are designed for handwritten responses; this is not a fillable PDF. No physical product will be shipped.

For personal reflection and education. This workbook does not replace individualized counseling.